Application to Be ByrdMan's Future Ex-Wife

Okay, Here is the Deal, You fill this application out, then send it to Byrdman and then wait. If you dont hear from Byrdman in about a year or so, then you probably aren't Byrdman Future ex-wife material.
But!, you never know
You may be NEXT!

(calanbyrd@yahoo.com is the address to send this filled in form to)

#1. Are you already an Ex-wife or ex-girlfriend of Byrdman?  Yes No

If No, then Continue, if Yes then Go back into therapy, Byrdman only makes mistakes once per ex-wife.

#2. Have you ever slept with Byrdman or anyone Byrdman Knows? Yes No

If Yes, Attach all legal filings relevant to the relationship and attach explanation as to why Byrdman should make an exception in your case.

#3. Do you define quitting drinking as What happens when you run outta booze? (and when all the Cough Syrup is gone and your too lazy to drain the anti-freeze out of your car) Yes No

If no then continue on, If yes, then Tell your friends you didnt want to marry Byrdman anyway

#4. Do you remember what color your hair was originally?  Yes No

#5. Have you ever had a relationship fail because of your own fault

and were you willing to admit to it? Yes No

If no, then go find therapy fast, youre real dangerous to man types.

#6. Why do you think Byrdman is the Mr Right now and what Fault he has that will be the downfall of the relationship when it's time to break up. (attach extra paper if necessary). __________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

#7. Define what makes you so magnetic to Byrdman that he would marry and / or live with you. (attach extra paper and photos and or Video to prove your point). __________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

#8. Would you be willing to give up all rights to the sales of the ExWife Doll that will be made in your honor?.
Yes No

If No, then go suck an egg, I am going to recover some of these costs.

#10. Will it bother you to no end, will you go Postal wondering what Question #9 is?

Yes No

#11. Do you want to have more children? Yes No

if yes then take this document to the nearest trash receptacle , forget you ever heard the Name Byrdman.

#12. Fill out the following information completely (you have 3 minutes, use a #2 pencil)

Personal Information

First Name:____________ Last Name: ___________

List In chronological order your Various Married Names and Aliases

a.)_____________________________  e.)____________________________

b.)_____________________________  f.)____________________________

c.)_____________________________  g.)____________________________

d.)_____________________________  h.)____________________________

Attach additional sheet if necessary.

Address: ________________________________________________________

If Homeless just put where you hang out so I can NOT go there!!!!

Phone # (___)-___-_____ (___)-___-____ (___)-___-_____ (___)-___-_____

 ^{Home  Work Pager Cell Phone}

(if you don't have a job, proof of being filthy rich required
attach a signature card for your largest savings account for Byrdman to use)

ICQ # ____________ AOL IM Name ________ Excite Chat Name_________

Other Chat Handles _______________________________________________

(yes, I want to know every name you may try to talk to me by)

Oh, If you don't know what all these chat names are then you get to go to the head of the line automatically.

List all Tattoo's and explain in less than 256 words why you got them (245 words tattoo). Attach on separate sheet.

#14 Any Body Piercing ? style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Wingdings'> style='font-family:"Comic Sans MS"'> Yes No

Nose  Yes No Ears Yes No If yes, how many _________

Eyebrow Yes No Tongue Yes No

Belly Button Yes No Eyelid Yes No

Nipple Yes No Lips Yes No

(If Yes to ANY in #14: Were you born this stupid or did you experiment with one too many drugs as a child?)

# 15 Can you pass through a metal detector in an airport without setting it off ?

Yes No

(If no, explain why And how you got that metal plate in your head/arm/knee/foot/etc)

#16 Do you go from real happy to massively pissed off in less than 10 seconds? Yes No